Wishy Washy Now! Hot Water Later!
Me, a pushover? No way! Well, maybe. (Okay, just this once). Sound familiar?
As parents, we often give in or “forget” to follow through with our word, simply to avoid conflict with our kids. It’s that simple. Life is busy, we go from A to B to C, and sometimes, it’s easier to waffle and cave then take a stand against something we know isn’t in our child’s best interest. Sure, it seems harmless when they are young and the stakes are low, but as they get older, it becomes imperative that they believe what we say. Most of us, as parents, would agree with this claim. We just don’t know how to change our habits.
Are you following a spin cycle that might lead to hot water down the road?
Have you ever said:
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1. Oh, what difference does it make?
2. This is just a phase.
3. It won’t hurt this time.
4. I know I said they couldn’t go, but this is a special birthday party.
5. I think they learned their lesson.
And then when you finally realize that you’ve created a cycle, you resort to
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1. I mean it this time.
2. This is the last time.
3. I’m serious, I’m not kidding, and don’t test me.
If this is you, you’re not alone! We’ve all been there. We just can’t afford to parent from this place because it ultimately sends a clear and dangerous message to our children. It says, “you don’t have to take me seriously because I don’t take my own decisions seriously.”
Over time, parents lose their confidence and conviction as children get away with more and more. What you say now translates as teenagers to: “Hey, you know what, it’s okay that you don’t listen the first (or second or third time) to rules about driving, sex, alcohol, and other big issues.” Ouch! That’s serious hot water not to mess with. Start now, stay cool later.
Wondering how to avoid hot water with your teenager? We can help! Learn more about our Parenting On Track™ Home Program and establishing values, setting boundaries and following through as parents in the real world.
