Parenting Strategies - By VickiHoefle on April 20, 2009 - 0 Comments
“How To” Slow Parent
“Slow Parenting” – I like that phrase.
Slow Parenting a phrase that has grown out of author, Carl Honoré’s, books, “The Power of Slow: Finding Balance and Fulfillment Beyond the Cult of Speed,” and more recently, “Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting.” Slow parenting “implies quality over quantity… being present and in the moment… and allowing our children to work out who they are rather than what we want them to be.” (See Belkin article below). For those of you familiar with Parenting on Track™, this must sound very familiar.
Honoré’s theories behind how today’s parents often find themselves off track by bending over backwards to give their kids the best of everything, while all they really need is love, attention and space to figure out the world on their own terms are what lie at the heart of the Parenting On Track™ Home Program. I have met too many parents that have lost confidence in themselves as parents. Why? Good question.
My guess is that it has to do with a few things:
- Parents are constantly bombarded with pressure from the outside world to raise the perfect child that behaves at all times (show me one before you tell me it’s possible).
- A next door neighbor that acts shocked when they find out YOUR child doesn’t have a tutor.
- A company marketing products that any “good parent” should already have for their child.
Parents find themselves looking “outside” to society for cues on how they are doing in the parenting arena and trying to keep up with the ever more exhausting demands. I am exhausted just HEARING the stories. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live in this climate – or should I call it a race?
What I do know is that this “race” robs parents of their confidence, which in turn diminishes the confidence of their children. Unlike slow parenting, it doesn’t encourage parents to create meaningful dialogue with their children, nor does it allow parent’s the space to reflect on where they are today as a family, where they would like to be in 30 days, 6 months or 18 years, and it certainly doesn’t support parents as they try and navigate the best way for THEIR family to get there.
So what will it take for you, as a parent, to slow down and become more thoughtful in your interactions? What would the impact be on you, your children and your family in general? I think I just heard a collective sigh as parents stepped back from the precipice of “race parenting” and consider the benefits of, “slow parenting”.
The Parenting On Track™ program teaches, in essence, how to create a kind of “slow parenting” style. It really is possible in this fast paced world we live in, to become that intentional, thoughtful, reflective parent that creates an atmosphere of connection, comfort and cooperation in your family.
One parent told Honoré that when he finally found himself in a place that could be described as slow parenting, “I exhaled and it was like I was letting out a breath that I’d been holding for years.” Doesn’t that sound refreshing?
Read the article, “What is Slow Parenting” by Lisa Belkin, Motherlode Blog, New York Times Magazine, April 14, 2009.
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