Parenting Strategies - By VickiHoefle on July 29, 2010 - 3 Comments
Let Your Child Be!
I love this video. I encourage you to watch it till the end. And then ask yourself this question –
As much as you think you have invested in who YOU think your child should be, are you willing to set that aside and invest in helping them discover who THEY want to be?
Watching this video was a great reminder to me, that allowing our kids the space to explore their world, to explore relationships, to explore their wants, needs, and interests, is about the best gift any parent can give their child.
Again, I find the magic in my Parenting On Track™ program. I say all the time, that on a good day, I am a C- parent and that it’s the program that keeps me parenting from my best and keeps me available to step back and open up the space for my children to discover who THEY want to be and become their best.
No, it’s not easy. It’s hard work. And here is what it takes for me to do this on a daily basis.
- Remind myself to back off
- Intentionally set aside my own ideas about who I believe my children should be or could be.
- Slow down and pay attention to the things that come naturally to each one of my children. The things that hold their interest, and inspire them in a way that nothing else does.
- Challenge myself to bite my tongue, toss my opinions in the trash, and watch how I describe my children’s life to others.
- Listen, really listen, to what my children are trying to tell me and ask curious questions instead of providing parental insight.
- Look at my children with new eyes each and every day.
- Trust my children even before I have any real reason to trust them.
- Be open when they express an interest that is totally outside of anything I ever considered they would be interested in.
- Take them seriously and never blow them off.
- Find the resources they might need to explore this interest or passion.
- Love them for who they are and what they bring to our family
- Accept them for who they are today, not what they might be tomorrow.
So I encourage you to find a way to meet your children where they are and as Ricochet’s trainer/owner puts it in her video tribute, “when I let go of who I wanted her to be and just let her be, she completely flourished.”
So remember when you look at your kids that each and every day, when they wake up and decide that they will participate in life, as a human being on the planet, they have cause for celebration.
So often we, as parents, hold off on the celebration until some gigantic accomplishment.
We need to train ourselves and our children that every day is a reason to celebrate. Every choice made is a reason to celebrate. Every risk taken is a reason to celebrate. Every apology made is a reason to celebrate.
It’s our job to say to our children just wanting to participate is enough. The way that you want to participate is enough. We are here to teach and to guide and to support and we all know that when we parent from our best, we allow our children to become their best.
So enjoy. And make sure you have a tissue. For more information on my award winning multi-media parenting program, click here.
3 Comments
Slawebb
Lizzie
Hurrah for lessons from dogs and their people!! So glad you shared this. ![]()
Megan Kajitani
How did I miss this video?! So blubbering. Lovely, Lovely.
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Good thing I had a tissue at the computer. I totally bawled through the whole thing. This is so inspiring! I think I cried most because I realize that I need to let go more and let my children lead me. I have so many expectations for them and they are way too high. I need to watch them grow into themselves rather than be guided by me as to what they should do.