Story by Meghan O.

“Who cut the cheese?” [Giggle, giggle, giggle . . .]

This was the scene at my dinner table not too long ago, and while I don’t think this is a particularly funny joke or phrase, my three- and six-year-old did, and it was hard not to laugh at the fun they were having. We let the discussion move on to other topics, and I haven’t heard this joke since, but it left me wondering—how would a parent react when their children tell off-color jokes or say things they find really offensive? You know, the kinds of things that make you want to threaten military school or that would have prompted your grandmother to wash their mouths out with soap.

We are about to be spending lots of time with family and friends for various holidays, and it is highly likely that our children might say something like, “Who cut the cheese?” or worse, and it seems reasonable that we have a plan in mind for what to do when these moments occur.

1. First thing to do is gauge the situation: are the other party-goers laughing and egging on your child, or are they just as offended as you?
2. If everyone else is laughing and enjoying the joke, the best you can do is distract your child with something else and try to get them away from the situation and into another room.
3. If everyone else is as offended as you, make it obvious that you are changing the subject without chastising your child in front of everyone; there is plenty of time to talk about it later.
4. Try to remember that children are still learning about social etiquette, and their off-color remark is not necessarily a reflection on you and your parenting but rather evidence of the social influence of their peers.
5. If your child says something that is truly offensive—racist or otherwise unacceptable—make sure to follow up with it later. Talk to your child about it, and use Parenting On Track™ strategies to guide your child toward a better, more positive way of thinking about themselves and the world around them.

Most of the time, kids tell jokes as a way to connect with others, and sometimes they have a hard time knowing what is appropriate. Just realizing this and knowing that they are learning as they go, can help you to pause and not over-react the next time you hear a joke that should have gone out of style a long time ago.

A great gift idea for your joker is a kid’s book on good, clean jokes. A search on Amazon.com gave me over 3,000 results—seriously!