I’ve been talking a lot lately about the “empty nest syndrome” and how wonderful, yet hard it is to see your grown children step confidently into their own lives. I’ve been so involved – both with time and emotions – in my own children’s leaving, that I almost forgot what it was like the first time they left.

What am I talking about? I’m talking about daycare, pre-school, kindergarten or wherever it is that children first “leave” to be on their own, outside of your home, for even just a few hours. I’ll never forget the first day of school for each one of my children – the memories are as bittersweet as the longer-term goodbyes are today.

I was reminded of those first, short-term goodbyes last week by one of my good friends, who said goodbye to her oldest child at pre-school. She called me with a choked up voice and told me how seamless it went. “Seamless?” I said, “Then why are you crying?” I asked. “Because… because I needed the goodbye hug more than she did.”

Many of us have had these seamless transitions from home to school with children who are confident and excited for the next phase in their life. But many of us have had the opposite. The child that doesn’t want to let go, and cries a lot the first few weeks of school. If you have one of those children that is having a hard time transitioning into pre-school or kindergarten, the only thing I can say is, “hang in there.” They will get through this time, as hard as it seems.

Remember to have confidence that your child can handle it, and show that confidence through Encouragement (Ch. 7 of the Parenting On Track™ Home Program) and the Crucial C’s (found in Ch. 6). If you believe that your children will get through it, then your children will believe it too. And, that alone can help them meet challenges far beyond those first brief flights outside the nest.

The truth is, all of our children will experience change and transition into new experiences many times throughout the course of their lives. Some of those transitions will be seamless and others, not so much. All we can do, as parents, is support them, listen to them, encourage them and hope that we need the goodbye hug more than they do.