A Letter From Vicki

At 32 I found myself married, living in Seattle, and pregnant. Like most pregnant women, I wanted to be a really fabulous mother. During the first few weeks of my pregnancy, I basked in the wonder of this miracle. I daydreamed about what life would be like with my child.

In this daydream I played the part of Mary Poppins, or one of those perfect moms you see on TV — need I say more?

And then one night, I had a moment of clarity—I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “You are a stubborn, opinionated, bossy, short-tempered, independent woman of thirty-two, and there is EVERY reason to believe that you will be that person whether you have children or not.”

I wasn’t about to panic or give up, so the question was…

What Am I Going to do About This?

I decided that I would invest whatever it took — time, energy, education, or money — into my parenting and treat it as my number one priority.

You may be thinking that this approach isn’t very romantic. In fact, our culture suggests to us that we SHOULD know how to parent, with little or no training. Maybe some mothers and fathers know what to do — I did not.

I believed I had a better chance of experiencing the “honeymoon” period with my children if I was prepared for the “lifetime commitment.”

Armed with determination, I went to the bookstore. I didn’t find a perfect book, but I found the next best thing, Systematic Training for Effective Parenting by Don Dinkmeyer, Sr., PhD, Gary McKay, PhD, and Don Dinkmeyer, Jr., PhD based on the concepts of Dr. Alfred Adler. I still remember the feeling of relief when I realized that there was a philosophy for child-rearing that made sense to me, and knew in my heart would be the key to raising my children in an atmosphere of love, compassion, trust, and mutual respect. That was my introduction to Adlerian Psychology, which would become the basis for the Parenting On Track™ program.

I read that book and went on to learn as much as I could about Adlerian Psychology, child development, and family dynamics. I began teaching parent education classes, in addition to operating a child care center and raising my three children. After a number of extremely busy years, I decided to retire and moved to New England. I would live a quiet, relaxed life in a small town — or so I thought.

I was in the grocery store one day when several women approached me.

“Um, hi–we’ve been watching you.”

“Who is ‘we’?” I said.

“Us, the mothers in town, and we’ve noticed two things. The first thing is that you really seem to enjoy your kids, which we understand, because we enjoy ours while they are sleeping, too.” We all shared a laugh, and they continued.

“What has really made us curious is this — your kids seem to really like you, and we want to know why.”

“Well, I read this book…” I began, but before I could tell them the name of the book, they all chimed in.

“No, we’ve read all the books, we don’t want another book. Either the books are wrong, or we don’t get it. We want you to teach us what you are doing, so our children will talk to us the way your children talk to you.”

Alas, I was out of retirement. That first group of six moms turned to twenty, which then turned to forty. Schools and PTOs were soon calling asking me to come teach, and within the year I was back to teaching full time. Today, our class sizes can reach one hundred.

And so the Parenting On Track™ program was born.

Here Is What I Know

Parents feel isolated and afraid to admit that they need help. We start making assumptions about what is happening in other people’s houses. And you know what — we tend to think that everyone else is doing a great job and we are doing an awful job. We begin to put our energy into “getting” our children to look and behave in certain ways because we have the idea that other people are watching and judging us. Instead of parenting from our best, we start parenting from our fear. We quickly begin to feel the downward spiral of these assumptions. Parenting is tough enough — we don’t need to make it worse by thinking that the world is judging us based on the actions of our 4-year-old.

Teaching parent education is my passion. I can’t think of anything I would rather do. I have watched as family after family experience significant and lasting change as a result of this program. As the mother of five teenagers who has been in the trenches, I can say with certainty that the Parenting On Track™ program delivers what parents are looking for.

My life does not get any better than this!