We talk a lot about money. We dream about it, we sing about and, yes, we fight about it. But do we talk to our kids enough about money? That is a question that bloggers and magazines from The New York Times to Better Homes and Gardens have been raising lately, and we think the topic deserves some further discussion.

So here is the question: Is there a “best” way to talk to our kids about money?

At Parenting On Track™, we like the saying, “Don’t listen to the mouth, watch the feet.” When it comes to money, don’t waste your time talking or lecturing your kids about it; let them learn about money themselves by giving them some of their own. This is an opportunity for your kids to develop their own relationship with money, outside of anyone’s influence, and for us, as their parents, to support the growing independence of our children.

Here are a few simple guidelines for “how”:

• At the youngest age possible, give them an allowance, and let them spend it any way they want. No discussion needed!
• Since they get allowance, you no longer have to buy them anything beyond their basic needs. So when you go into a store and they beg for that great little something they have always wanted, you get to say, “YES! Did you bring your money?”
• When they are old enough to be interested in a bank account, open one for them. Give them practice depositing and withdrawing money. Let them have a debit card, so they learn that the money coming out of an ATM isn’t free.
• Have them help you pay bills and balance the household account, so that they can get a sense of how much “life” really costs.
• Talk to your kids about giving money away. Tell them what charities you give to, how much you give, and why.

No child is too young to begin to form a healthy relationship with money. One Parenting On Track™ mom told me a story about her three-year-old son who went into a store with his friend and his friend’s mom. The young friend, upon seeing some shiny “gotta have” object, began to whine and beg her mother for it, at which point the Parenting On Track™ mom’s son looked at his friend and said, “but you didn’t bring any money.” End of story.

Money will be a part of our children’s lives every day; we have an opportunity, as parents, to introduce them to money and help them create a healthy relationship with it, so that when they are on their own, they will have the confidence and the experience to manage their money well, to put it to good use, and to avoid the difficulties that so many families face today in this country.

For more information on your kids and money, go to the Parenting On Track™ MP3 on Money Management.

Thanks to Timothy Evans, Ph.D., for “Don’t listen to the mouth, watch the feet.”