Comments on: Communication 101 http://www.parentingontrack.com/invest-in-the-best/communication-101/ Your Family. Your Solutions! Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:45:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/invest-in-the-best/communication-101/#comment-202 vicki Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:15:23 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=2151#comment-202 Hi Nancy, I am so sorry. I know how difficult separation can be - on everyone involved. Try to forgive yourself and learn from what you heard. A question for you that comes to mind is - do you appreciate yourself? And if you do, how do you demonstrate that? What I have learned is this - you can rarely give to another, what you can not or will not give to yourself. In terms of working with the kids, here is what I can offer. 1. Kids look to their parents for strength. They want to know that you can handle what ever happens and that you will make sure that they are okay. 2. Children never want to be put in the middle of their parents. Loyalty is a strange thing - so make a commitment to yourself AND to your kids today to always, always, support your X. 3. Keep moving forward, in small steps. Allow yourself to grieve and weep and throw things, and smile and laugh. This is real life. This isn't a novel or a movie. It is messy and hard and it is often times a transformative experience. 4. Begin using appreciations each day with both kids. Really look for the character traits that define who they are. Look for the hidden traits that are just emerging. Feed their spirits and souls with the courage to continue through this difficult time with loving words of appreciation. Hope this helps. Please know my thoughts are with you. Be Well, Vicki Hi Nancy,

I am so sorry. I know how difficult separation can be - on everyone involved. Try to forgive yourself and learn from what you heard. A question for you that comes to mind is - do you appreciate yourself? And if you do, how do you demonstrate that? What I have learned is this - you can rarely give to another, what you can not or will not give to yourself.

In terms of working with the kids, here is what I can offer.

1. Kids look to their parents for strength. They want to know that you can handle what ever happens and that you will make sure that they are okay.

2. Children never want to be put in the middle of their parents. Loyalty is a strange thing - so make a commitment to yourself AND to your kids today to always, always, support your X.

3. Keep moving forward, in small steps. Allow yourself to grieve and weep and throw things, and smile and laugh. This is real life. This isn’t a novel or a movie. It is messy and hard and it is often times a transformative experience.

4. Begin using appreciations each day with both kids. Really look for the character traits that define who they are. Look for the hidden traits that are just emerging. Feed their spirits and souls with the courage to continue through this difficult time with loving words of appreciation.

Hope this helps. Please know my thoughts are with you.

Be Well,
Vicki

]]> By: Nancy http://www.parentingontrack.com/invest-in-the-best/communication-101/#comment-201 Nancy Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:34:18 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=2151#comment-201 Hi Vicki, I couldn't agree with you more. My husband and I recently separated and he cited a lack of appreciation as a main reason for leaving. Do you have any other ideas or strategies for working with our children aged 11 and 8 during this very difficult period of adjustment in our family? I feel like you wrote this tip just for our family. The timing is great. Thanks for any help you can provide. Nancy Hi Vicki,
I couldn’t agree with you more. My husband and I recently separated and he cited a lack of appreciation as a main reason for leaving. Do you have any other ideas or strategies for working with our children aged 11 and 8 during this very difficult period of adjustment in our family? I feel like you wrote this tip just for our family. The timing is great. Thanks for any help you can provide.
Nancy

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