Do you believe that good parents praise their children?

When your child wins a game, draws a picture, or comes home with an A on her report card, what do you say? What are you thinking?

Are you like so many other parents who are in the habit of responding with words like “Good job,” “Nice work,” or “I am so proud of you” without considering how these words will impact your child’s developing self-esteem and self-confidence?

A Different Perspective

There was an article in New York Magazine by Po Bronson titled “How Not to Talk to Your Kids: The Inverse Power of Praise” that raised some interesting points. Consider this:

• Did you know that telling your children how smart they are and offering praise often leads to under achievement?
• Did you ever make the connection between rewarding your child too frequently and his or her level of persistence when rewards are not present?
• How about the notion that persistence is also an unconscious response in the brain that intervenes when there is no immediate reward?

Now that you know

• How will you change your response?
• What will it take for you to become more creative in your use of language?
• How will you ask questions that encourage your children to self-evaluate?
• What observations could you make that would support your child as he learns new skills and faces new challenges?
• How much discipline will it take for you to resist giving your opinion?
• Armed with this new information, what choices will you make for you and your children?

Read the article and tell us what you think. If you know what you would do differently today, please take a moment and share your thoughts with us.