Comments on: The Truth about Lying—and Other Nonsense http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/ Your Family. Your Solutions! Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:53:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Hillary http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-137 Hillary Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:28:25 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-137 I think a little hoopla is a good thing! It cleans the air and helps people clarify what they are thinking, feeling etc. In all honesty the reason I thought to point it out was b/c it didn't make sense with V's message. I'm not sure but I think if we looked at the sentence grammatically it refers to bfing, co-sleeping, weaning as the craziness of the culture, when what I think she means to say it she didn't get caught up in others telling her how she should mother. I think a little hoopla is a good thing! It cleans the air and helps people clarify what they are thinking, feeling etc. In all honesty the reason I thought to point it out was b/c it didn’t make sense with V’s message. I’m not sure but I think if we looked at the sentence grammatically it refers to bfing, co-sleeping, weaning as the craziness of the culture, when what I think she means to say it she didn’t get caught up in others telling her how she should mother.

]]> By: vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-136 vicki Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:12:28 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-136 Once again, WOW. I was on the treadmill this morning with my business partner talking about all the commotion this little article created. Here was all this great content but one sentence grabbed all the air time. Here is what she pointed out - "People who don't know you might "assume" that your comment was a judgment, not an observation." Interesting. She's right. This happens all the time. Being an Adlerian at heart, I understand that we experience life through a unique set of goggles. It is what makes life mysterious and glorious. My goggles are tuned to "observation mode". So, here are my final notes on the subject: 1. I didn't call breastfeeding crazy, I said the culture was crazy. 2. What difference does it make whether I think breastfeeding is crazy or not? 3. This program is about empowering parents, children and families. Frankly, I believe that most individuals navigate their way through life quite nicely. Be Well, Vicki Once again, WOW.

I was on the treadmill this morning with my business partner talking about all the commotion this little article created. Here was all this great content but one sentence grabbed all the air time.

Here is what she pointed out - “People who don’t know you might “assume” that your comment was a judgment, not an observation.” Interesting.

She’s right. This happens all the time.

Being an Adlerian at heart, I understand that we experience life through a unique set of goggles. It is what makes life mysterious and glorious. My goggles are tuned to “observation mode”.

So, here are my final notes on the subject:

1. I didn’t call breastfeeding crazy, I said the culture was crazy.
2. What difference does it make whether I think breastfeeding is crazy or not?
3. This program is about empowering parents, children and families.

Frankly, I believe that most individuals navigate their way through life quite nicely.

Be Well,
Vicki

]]> By: Hillary http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-135 Hillary Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:48:58 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-135 "she never got caught up in the whole “breast feeding, sleeping with, weaning from” craziness of our culture." I came to make the same comment, but I see it's already been made. You might want to reword that b/c it does seem to contradict what you are saying your beliefs are. I totally agree that you need to find what works for you outside of the craziness of popular opinion and for many that means breastfeeding, co-sleeping etc. I was about to link you to a few of my mama listserves, but when I saw that line I changed my mind. “she never got caught up in the whole “breast feeding, sleeping with, weaning from” craziness of our culture.”

I came to make the same comment, but I see it’s already been made. You might want to reword that b/c it does seem to contradict what you are saying your beliefs are. I totally agree that you need to find what works for you outside of the craziness of popular opinion and for many that means breastfeeding, co-sleeping etc. I was about to link you to a few of my mama listserves, but when I saw that line I changed my mind.

]]> By: Vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-134 Vicki Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:16:00 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-134 Hi, WOW! An 18 month old doing all that? WOW! Girlfriend, something is working in your house. Okay, for the record, if it was up to me, I would have breastfed my 20 year old until - well now. BUT, she wouldn't let me. The program encourages families to create their own Parenting Roadmap for just this reason. If breastfeeding is still fun for all of you, why quit? If sleeping in the same bed isn't interfering with a healthy relationship with your husband, then why change, and if nobody minds carrying this independent little cuss, then carry her. Listen, at the end of the day, you are navigating many things. 1. How independent is your child most of the time? 2. Are you giving your child opportunities to become more independent each day? 3. Is nursing, sleeping with and carrying a form of connection that NOBODY in the house is ready to let go of yet. If you use the Roadmap to guide you and you think about when you want to start weaning, then you will have a plan and you can quit worrying (i.e. In six month this child will be off the breast, sleeping in her own bed and walking 90% of the time). Now, relax for 5 months, enjoy your decision and figure out a plan for when you DO make the transition. Who knows, she just might handle all 3 of those thing on her own. Have fun and thank you for your comments. Vicki Hi,

WOW! An 18 month old doing all that? WOW! Girlfriend, something is working in your house.

Okay, for the record, if it was up to me, I would have breastfed my 20 year old until - well now. BUT, she wouldn’t let me.

The program encourages families to create their own Parenting Roadmap for just this reason. If breastfeeding is still fun for all of you, why quit? If sleeping in the same bed isn’t interfering with a healthy relationship with your husband, then why change, and if nobody minds carrying this independent little cuss, then carry her.

Listen, at the end of the day, you are navigating many things.

1. How independent is your child most of the time?
2. Are you giving your child opportunities to become more independent each day?
3. Is nursing, sleeping with and carrying a form of connection that NOBODY in the house is ready to let go of yet.

If you use the Roadmap to guide you and you think about when you want to start weaning, then you will have a plan and you can quit worrying (i.e. In six month this child will be off the breast, sleeping in her own bed and walking 90% of the time). Now, relax for 5 months, enjoy your decision and figure out a plan for when you DO make the transition.

Who knows, she just might handle all 3 of those thing on her own.

Have fun and thank you for your comments.

Vicki

]]> By: Becky http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-133 Becky Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:28:12 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-133 Hi Vicki, This is a bit off the subject of your article but it is touching on a comment left by another forum user. I am wondering what your thoughts are on attachment parenting (i.e. co-sleeping, baby wearing, extended breastfeeding) and the parenting on track philosophy that so strongly encourages independence. I think I can do both-my 1-1/2 year old is very independent, (dresses herself, or at least makes a good attempt!) contributes (feeds dogs, helps with dishes, folds diapers), takes responsibility for some of her actions (if she spills her water, she will grab a towel and clean it up) but she does still sleep with us, nurses a lot and gets carried around by her siblings and parents. I am a huge fan of the parenting on track program and respect and value your opinion. I look forward to hearing what you have to say! Hi Vicki,
This is a bit off the subject of your article but it is touching on a comment left by another forum user. I am wondering what your thoughts are on attachment parenting (i.e. co-sleeping, baby wearing, extended breastfeeding) and the parenting on track philosophy that so strongly encourages independence. I think I can do both-my 1-1/2 year old is very independent, (dresses herself, or at least makes a good attempt!) contributes (feeds dogs, helps with dishes, folds diapers), takes responsibility for some of her actions (if she spills her water, she will grab a towel and clean it up) but she does still sleep with us, nurses a lot and gets carried around by her siblings and parents.

I am a huge fan of the parenting on track program and respect and value your opinion. I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

]]> By: Vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-131 Vicki Sun, 22 Feb 2009 17:39:41 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-131 Hi, Thanks for clarifying. I will try and be more careful with my choice of words. Be Well, Vicki Hi,

Thanks for clarifying. I will try and be more careful with my choice of words.

Be Well,
Vicki

]]> By: Crystal http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-130 Crystal Sun, 22 Feb 2009 16:35:31 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-130 You called breast feeding "craziness of our culture." That was what I was referring to. You called breast feeding “craziness of our culture.” That was what I was referring to.

]]> By: Vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-129 Vicki Sun, 22 Feb 2009 13:24:10 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-129 In a culture where everyone has an opinion and feels the need to express their opinion, solicited or not, my friend N., refrained from any and all influence that came her way. She remained true to herself, but more important, true to the relationship with her child to negotiate, not only her decisions about breast feeding, but every other decision that concerned her child. In the end, that is all that matters. Whatever gave you the idea that she decided against breast feeding? Vicki In a culture where everyone has an opinion and feels the need to express their opinion, solicited or not, my friend N., refrained from any and all influence that came her way. She remained true to herself, but more important, true to the relationship with her child to negotiate, not only her decisions about breast feeding, but every other decision that concerned her child. In the end, that is all that matters.

Whatever gave you the idea that she decided against breast feeding?

Vicki

]]> By: Crystal http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/the-truth-about-lying/#comment-128 Crystal Sat, 21 Feb 2009 00:46:02 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=615#comment-128 "she never got caught up in the whole “breast feeding, sleeping with, weaning from” craziness of our culture." How is breast feeding crazy? I take quite a bit of offense to this statement. It's natural and has been done since the beginning of time. The crazy thing these days is that kids don't get the breast milk that will ensure them a healthier life. “she never got caught up in the whole “breast feeding, sleeping with, weaning from” craziness of our culture.”

How is breast feeding crazy? I take quite a bit of offense to this statement. It’s natural and has been done since the beginning of time. The crazy thing these days is that kids don’t get the breast milk that will ensure them a healthier life.

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