How do I GET my kids to use the toilet? How do I GET my kids to eat dinner? How do I GET my kids to go to sleep at night?

My answer – I have no idea. Never in my 20 years of motherhood have I ever been able to GET my kids to do something they didn’t want to do.

Now don’t get me wrong, bribing, punishing and “consequencing” may provide the desired result in the short-term. The downside is that you can find yourself right back at it only moments later, and the method you’ve used to get that quick fix does nothing to create useful skills or independence in your children over the long term. And, really, isn’t that what parenting is about anyway - preparing our loveable little rascals for long-term success out there in the real world?

Bathroom, sleep and food “issues” are all symptoms, and when we focus on the symptoms, we are parenting with our heads down. Our focus is narrow and limited and, understandably, we get limited and utterly unsatisfying results.

Now, if you think you may be focusing on the symptom rather than the core problem, but are having a hard time understanding which is which, try this simple exercise.

Take a week or two and observe how often the same issues come up in your home. I’d even suggest you write down what you observe so it’s easier to keep track. Notice what kinds of strategies you use to deal with the problem behavior. If the symptoms keep coming back, you are caught in the cul-de-sac syndrome. Around and around you go. Same behaviors - same strategies - same results. Nothing changes.

At this point you can take a deep breath, relax, and even pat yourself on the back. You’ve just made a very important and very useful discovery. But, no doubt, you’re wondering, “Now what?”

You already know there are no quick fixes, so now it’s time to create solutions that really work! With the Parenting On Track™ Home program, you can learn to identify the one problem your children are attempting to solve when they’re avoiding tasks, acting like they can’t do something, or are otherwise uncooperative.

You’ll then focus on creating solutions that work given your unique family dynamic – solutions that will actually help your children develop useful skills right now while preparing them to enter adulthood with confidence and enthusiasm.

Remember, you are the best parent for your children. That’s why we say, “Your Family. Your Solutions!” It’s not an easy road, but it’s a road worth traveling. And we’re here to help you whenever you’re ready to start the journey.