Comments on: Picky Eating and Other Pesky Problems http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/ Your Family. Your Solutions! Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:46:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-197 vicki Sat, 06 Jun 2009 12:32:42 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-197 Hi Kara, First of all, you are not alone. Hundreds and thousands of parents WANT the same thing you do and find themselves doing just the opposite. If you haven't already, use the ABCDE strategy in chapter 2. This will help you uncover some of your mistaken beliefs around food and when that happens, you are going to feel a kind of freedom that inspires a new way of "being" with your child. You won't feel yourself getting "hooked" by the whole food thing and when that happens, you are free to really consider how you want to approach nutrition - both from a food perspective and also from a spirit perspective. I think the other thing that might be helpful is creating a Roadmap for yourself. As I read your post, it seems clear that you really haven't identified for you or your child what you truly want in the long run - a kid who eats broccoli? - no, a child who understand nutrition and is willing to stay open to possibilities, and a mom who finds create and respectful ways to include their child in the nutritional process. Whenever you - me - we - have shifts in perspective, our world shifts in powerful and lasting ways. This is really the beginning of the change cycle. Without it, you are trying to, as I say, "muscle your personality" in to behaving the way you want it to. But your behavior is driven by your beliefs so if you have strong beliefs about what "good" mommy's do (including feed broccoli) then very little is going to change until you discover what that belief is. All of your questions indicate that you are at what I refer to as the "cul-de-sac" syndrome. You know that what you are doing isn't working and you have no idea what to do about it. Yes, you know what you want, but how the heck are you going to get there. So before you waste 100's of dollars on books that talk about "eating", remember, that is a symptom, not the problem. It's like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. The bleeding will start again and each time it does, you will feel more discouraged. By all means, check out the book by Ellen and remember there is often more going on than mere eating issues. Be Well, Vicki Hi Kara,

First of all, you are not alone. Hundreds and thousands of parents WANT the same thing you do and find themselves doing just the opposite.

If you haven’t already, use the ABCDE strategy in chapter 2. This will help you uncover some of your mistaken beliefs around food and when that happens, you are going to feel a kind of freedom that inspires a new way of “being” with your child. You won’t feel yourself getting “hooked” by the whole food thing and when that happens, you are free to really consider how you want to approach nutrition - both from a food perspective and also from a spirit perspective.

I think the other thing that might be helpful is creating a Roadmap for yourself. As I read your post, it seems clear that you really haven’t identified for you or your child what you truly want in the long run - a kid who eats broccoli? - no, a child who understand nutrition and is willing to stay open to possibilities, and a mom who finds create and respectful ways to include their child in the nutritional process.

Whenever you - me - we - have shifts in perspective, our world shifts in powerful and lasting ways. This is really the beginning of the change cycle. Without it, you are trying to, as I say, “muscle your personality” in to behaving the way you want it to. But your behavior is driven by your beliefs so if you have strong beliefs about what “good” mommy’s do (including feed broccoli) then very little is going to change until you discover what that belief is.

All of your questions indicate that you are at what I refer to as the “cul-de-sac” syndrome. You know that what you are doing isn’t working and you have no idea what to do about it. Yes, you know what you want, but how the heck are you going to get there.

So before you waste 100’s of dollars on books that talk about “eating”, remember, that is a symptom, not the problem. It’s like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. The bleeding will start again and each time it does, you will feel more discouraged.

By all means, check out the book by Ellen and remember there is often more going on than mere eating issues.

Be Well,
Vicki

]]> By: Kara http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-194 Kara Sat, 06 Jun 2009 00:53:56 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-194 This is so, so hard. I want so badly to teach my toddler in a way that is helpful and not harmful. These "issues" I bring up seem so elementary, but when I'm in the throes of it, it feels very important and I have such a strong desire to parent in a way that nourishes my child and not get stuck in the power struggles that often arise. We bite our tongues when we say something like, "Just three more pieces of broccoli and you can have some watermelon". Our toddler then stuffs the food in her mouth just to get to what she really desires. Shame on us! But, how do we handle it? She would just eat the watermelon if we put it out w/ the other food. How about other eating challenges w/ a toddler (I think I need the Ellyn book)—What to do when a toddler doesn’t eat much dinner (due to not liking what is served or just not being terribly hungry), but then “snack” before bed comes around and toddler is hungry? Give a healthy snack, no snack (hate to do this), the remaining dinner? Our daily saga continues…and I hear this age is a piece of cake compared to teens…YIKES! I have just 2 1/2 years to get her "on track"...or should I say, get me on track. This is so, so hard. I want so badly to teach my toddler in a way that is helpful and not harmful. These “issues” I bring up seem so elementary, but when I’m in the throes of it, it feels very important and I have such a strong desire to parent in a way that nourishes my child and not get stuck in the power struggles that often arise.

We bite our tongues when we say something like, “Just three more pieces of broccoli and you can have some watermelon”. Our toddler then stuffs the food in her mouth just to get to what she really desires. Shame on us! But, how do we handle it? She would just eat the watermelon if we put it out w/ the other food.

How about other eating challenges w/ a toddler (I think I need the Ellyn book)—What to do when a toddler doesn’t eat much dinner (due to not liking what is served or just not being terribly hungry), but then “snack” before bed comes around and toddler is hungry? Give a healthy snack, no snack (hate to do this), the remaining dinner?

Our daily saga continues…and I hear this age is a piece of cake compared to teens…YIKES! I have just 2 1/2 years to get her “on track”…or should I say, get me on track.

]]> By: vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-187 vicki Fri, 22 May 2009 15:42:43 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-187 LOL. I am always on the look out for tips, strategies, but mostly insight that leads to a shift in perspective and when that happens - WOW - Results. Sounds like that happened with Ellyn's great info. Hopefully you will find the same kind of success in other arenas with the program. Enjoy the season. Be Well, Vicki LOL.

I am always on the look out for tips, strategies, but mostly insight that leads to a shift in perspective and when that happens - WOW - Results.

Sounds like that happened with Ellyn’s great info. Hopefully you will find the same kind of success in other arenas with the program.

Enjoy the season.

Be Well,
Vicki

]]> By: Leah http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-186 Leah Fri, 22 May 2009 13:08:07 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-186 As I was reading the article, it sounded familiar so I was delighted to see the Ellyn Satter reference! I had the good fortune to come across Child of Mine when my now 4 yo daughter was 10 months old. It makes the feeding relationship SO easy! Both of my kids are fabulous eaters and when they have an off meal, we don't worry about it one bit. Now if we can apply it to our Parenting on Track habit changing, we'll be in good form in other arenas... As I was reading the article, it sounded familiar so I was delighted to see the Ellyn Satter reference! I had the good fortune to come across Child of Mine when my now 4 yo daughter was 10 months old. It makes the feeding relationship SO easy! Both of my kids are fabulous eaters and when they have an off meal, we don’t worry about it one bit. Now if we can apply it to our Parenting on Track habit changing, we’ll be in good form in other arenas…

]]> By: Vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-173 Vicki Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:25:17 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-173 LOL. I love that little, smart children can make me smile so easily and so often. Enjoy that delightful child. LOL. I love that little, smart children can make me smile so easily and so often. Enjoy that delightful child.

]]> By: Terri http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-172 Terri Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:53:08 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-172 My mother was always on me about my eating because I was a major picky eater. I'm not a picky eater now, but it had nothing to do with sitting at the table well after dinner was over with cold food I had no intentions of eating. What I learned from that was that I would not make food the battle in my house. Unfortunately, I may have gone a little too far in the other direction. But, I've realized that I don't have to do too much just back off and let her go. I already do what I need to help her. I buy healthy foods for the house, in the summer we grow our own veggies and bake our own sweets and from there she makes her choices. For the most part they are right on. Which says to me trust her and be there to occasionally make the call about bubble gum before breakfast. As I'm typing this she has gone into the pantry for something to eat her second breakfast of the morning cereal, bananas and milk. Which we discovered last week she is capable of doing all on her own. Okay, as if she were reading my mind, she just asked me how many grams of sugar in this? I asked why do you want to know? She said because it taste so sweet. Then she asked how many grams of healthiness is in here? I said what's healthiness? Mama you know things that are healthy for you! Okay, okay I get it. She get's it. My mother was always on me about my eating because I was a major picky eater. I’m not a picky eater now, but it had nothing to do with sitting at the table well after dinner was over with cold food I had no intentions of eating. What I learned from that was that I would not make food the battle in my house. Unfortunately, I may have gone a little too far in the other direction. But, I’ve realized that I don’t have to do too much just back off and let her go. I already do what I need to help her. I buy healthy foods for the house, in the summer we grow our own veggies and bake our own sweets and from there she makes her choices. For the most part they are right on. Which says to me trust her and be there to occasionally make the call about bubble gum before breakfast.
As I’m typing this she has gone into the pantry for something to eat her second breakfast of the morning cereal, bananas and milk. Which we discovered last week she is capable of doing all on her own.
Okay, as if she were reading my mind, she just asked me how many grams of sugar in this?
I asked why do you want to know?
She said because it taste so sweet.
Then she asked how many grams of healthiness is in here?
I said what’s healthiness?
Mama you know things that are healthy for you!
Okay, okay I get it. She get’s it.

]]> By: Vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-171 Vicki Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:06:40 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-171 Great story. I can't remember my mom or my grandmother being overly concerned about my "eating" habits. There was a healthy balance of food offered, conversation within the kitchen as I was cooking with them, and our meals were spent in easy conversation which supported a pleasant experience which encouraged healthy eating habits. It seems so simple when I think back on it. We sure have gone overboard. So, do you have a plan for bringing more balance into this situation? Has this new awareness changed how you will talk about nutrition with your child? Just curious. Thanks for sharing, Vicki Great story. I can’t remember my mom or my grandmother being overly concerned about my “eating” habits. There was a healthy balance of food offered, conversation within the kitchen as I was cooking with them, and our meals were spent in easy conversation which supported a pleasant experience which encouraged healthy eating habits.

It seems so simple when I think back on it. We sure have gone overboard.

So, do you have a plan for bringing more balance into this situation? Has this new awareness changed how you will talk about nutrition with your child? Just curious.

Thanks for sharing,
Vicki

]]> By: Terri http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-170 Terri Fri, 17 Apr 2009 04:02:02 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-170 I know I spend a lot of time talking to my 5 year old daughter about making healthy food choices. She's a picky eater at dinner time, but usually eats more food during breakfast and lunch than I could so I don't really worry about her dinner time eating or lack of eating I should say. I knew I may have gone a little overboard with my making healthy choices speeches with my then 4 year old, when one day I heard her playing in her kitchen, with an empty oatmeal container, saying I wonder how many grams of sugar is in this cereal? Then pretending to spoon feed her dolly saying this has protein and that makes you have strong muscles. I know I spend a lot of time talking to my 5 year old daughter about making healthy food choices. She’s a picky eater at dinner time, but usually eats more food during breakfast and lunch than I could so I don’t really worry about her dinner time eating or lack of eating I should say.
I knew I may have gone a little overboard with my making healthy choices speeches with my then 4 year old, when one day I heard her playing in her kitchen, with an empty oatmeal container, saying I wonder how many grams of sugar is in this cereal? Then pretending to spoon feed her dolly saying this has protein and that makes you have strong muscles.

]]> By: Vicki http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-169 Vicki Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:38:34 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-169 You bet. You bet.

]]> By: Shelley Gustafson http://www.parentingontrack.com/discovery/picky-eating-and-other-pesky-problems/#comment-168 Shelley Gustafson Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:24:09 +0000 http://www.parentingontrack.com/?p=1432#comment-168 Can you do a feature article sometime on getting out the door in the morning? Can you do a feature article sometime on getting out the door in the morning?

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