I know it is important for today’s parents that their children “do their best”, that “hard work” pays off, but let’s get real here.

Your child is 10. Can you give her another 10 years to learn a lesson some 30 year olds NEVER learn?

Here is what you can do.

1. Acknowledge that her solution is perfect for her. Why not stay in if you don’t like recess. Beautiful. So celebrate her ingenuity. HMMM - I think she is “doing her best” in this situation, it just doesn’t match with what you want.

2. Keep talking with her by asking her questions about “best work”, “hard work”, etc. She needs to make a connection for herself in order to use this information. Your experience doesn’t mean anything to her. So be creative and keep looking for that opportunity that will have her experiencing her own “aha” moment.

Keep me posted.

Vicki

I understand how frustrating it can be when children have special needs which makes an already difficult situation (homework) even more challenging.

However, the same approach will work with a bit of tweaking. The most important thing is this - Observe. Observe your child when they are at their best, when they are feeling confident, when they are tackling a challenge. Watch what skills, strengths, abilities, insights they may have that can be overlooked. Learn from your child before you try to teach. Then…

1. Keep in mind your child’s unique abilities and how these abilities will assist the child in this situation.
2. List their strengths so that you put together a system that draws on these strengths.
3. Set realistic goals for yourself and teach your child how to set goals for herself.
4. You mentioned 3 things - organization, focus, concept learning. Break each one of these down and begin to teach her about them outside of the homework environment. How does she organize? When does she organize, what does she organize, how long can she organize before she gets frustrated, etc. This is your starting point. The same is true with focus on conceptual learning.
5. Go slow. If you are familiar with the Road Map concept in the program, use this to help you plot a course, identify and acknowledge progress and improvement; set milestones for celebration and create new Road Maps as your child progresses through her academic career.

Be Well,
Vicki