Mental Muscle — that is, and by the way, how’s yours? Feeling a little flabby? Looking for ways to beef it up? Here are the top 10 ways, parenting expert, Vicki Hoefle suggests working out your mental muscle, so when your kids need you – you are strong enough to parent from your best.

1. Stop worrying about how your children express themselves in terms of their personal style (this includes their wardrobe, accessories, hair and makeup). Learn to notice character traits that define your child as a unique human being.

2. Ignore strangers in the grocery store who give you the hairy eye-ball when your child throws a temper tantrum. Learn to wait quietly as your child finds his/her own solution for dealing with disappointment or frustration (or just being too tired to shop).

3. Don’t interfere if your child decides to go to school in jammies, wear sandals in the snow, or watch tv instead of doing homework. Nature is the best teacher. Celebrate your child’s courage to make a choice and listen as he/she shares the experience without judgment or criticism.

4. Ignore mistakes, big and small, and remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn.

5. Resist the urge to say “I told you so”, “What were you thinking?” , and “If you had listened to me in the first place, you could have avoided the whole mess.” Imagine yourself in your child’s shoes and then respond accordingly.

6. Leave the mess. When your child is 35 how do you want her to remember you? As the best damn, nagging housekeeper in the neighborhood or as her ally, champion and teacher?

7. Never ever, ever, ever, ask your neighbor how she parents. You wouldn’t take your car to an accountant for an oil change would you? Consider yourself the expert in your child’s life.

8. When you don’t know what to do – do nothing.

9. Challenge every belief you have about what “good” parents do and don’t do and replace it with accurate, factual information that will help you parent from your best.

10. Don’t make the mistake of believing that your children ARE their mischief making. Mischief making is your clue that you are living with a discouraged child. The only solution is to encourage and encourage again.

At Parenting On Track™we are constantly supporting parents to help their kids develop mental muscle. We all know it can take a lot of mental muscle to thrive as an adult. Remember you cannot give to your kids, what you do not have yourself. So work this week, this month, this year on building up and staying strong, so you can parent from your best!