This month, the Parenting On Track™ blog has focused on “The Art of Encouragement” as a relationship strategy. We’ve talked about the difference between praise and encouragement (“Put an End to the Praise-Junkie”), how to use encouragement to motivate kids (“Encourage That Self-Motivation!”) and how to use your skills as a talent scout to encourage your kids toward success (“Parent as Talent Scout”). By now, you can consider yourselves well-versed in the benefits of using encouragement every day to enhance the relationship you have with your kids.

You probably, after all of this watching and observing, know a little bit more about your children than you did a month ago. Are you surprised, delighted, and maybe even a little bit emotional over the wonderful things you have uncovered about your child? Do you want to find a way to hold on to these feelings of wonder, awe and love that you have right now, in this moment, so that you can continue to encourage your children and yourself, even during the rough times?

Here’s how I would do it.

• I would sit down and write my child a letter, and in it, would tell them where I started from this month—trying to focus on encouraging them through life’s ups and downs.
• Then I would tell them all of the wonderful things I learned. For example, I used encouraging messages like “I’m glad you are here” and saw the smile in their eyes; I asked encouraging questions and found out that they draw sunsets because it reminds them of our trip to the lake last summer; I had empathy while they did a task they didn’t like and found out exactly what it is about the task that they don’t like; I watched and marveled at the way they kept the beat while listening to their favorite song on the radio…maybe it’s time for music lessons.
• Then I would tell them that I love them, unconditionally.
• I might share this letter with my child. Or I might keep it for myself, to read first thing every morning or maybe just when I need a little pick-me-up.

Encourage yourself by taking the time to look at and write down what you have observed about your wonderful, growing children; how your relationship has changed since you started using strategies like encouragement; and how you can see that you are now on the right path towards a healthy, strong relationship with the people you love.

For more information on Encouragement, see Ch. 7 of the Parenting On Track™ Home Program