We’ve all had days when we look at our adorable child, who is anything BUT adorable at the moment because they are screaming or arguing or doing something else just as unpleasant, and we say to ourselves, “I really signed up for THIS?” followed by, “How did I get here?” or “How do I get out of here? or How do I get to where I want to be?”

When you find yourself in this all too familiar place, it’s important to remember THE REASON you got here in the first place. Most likely it is because you fell in love, got married, and then decided to have children with the partner that you adore (or something like that).

• THE REASON you decided to become a parent is as unique to you as your child is…
• THE REASON you decided to become a parent was to nurture and support this unique child of yours…
• THE REASON you decided to become a parent most likely didn’t include wanting a career as a Law Enforcement Officer in your own home…
• THE REASON you decided to become a parent didn’t include spending all your time disciplining and fighting with your child…

Now, you love your children—no doubt about it—but dang, this behavior of theirs can be REALLY problematic. And although YOU could overlook it or give into it, there is a part of you that suspects the rest of the world will be less than kind to them if they decide to throw a temper tantrum on the job or in a relationship. And have no doubt folks, your screaming, demanding children WILL turn into screaming, demanding adults, if you don’t help them change direction (Chapter 1: Children Don’t Grow Out Of—They Grow Into).

So now you are convinced that something has to change, but where do you start? Most of the parenting magazines and blogs out there, or experts on manners and other such gobbledygook will provide you with lots and lots of discipline strategies or other limiting ideas that will supposedly “put your children on the path towards good.” In my experience, most discipline strategies just end up with either the child or the parent feeling bad or BOTH of you feeling bad and, really, no good can come from that.

I want to offer you a different starting place. To go back to the first point I made, I want you to remember THE REASON why you are here in the first place. You love your children. So start with that, start with the relationship you have with your children. They are THE REASON to change your tactics, because in every moment you are either interfering with or enhancing a strong, healthy relationship with your children, as well as their ability to develop strong character traits that will serve them well from age 18 to 80.

THE REASON to try something new is:

• What you are doing now must not be working.
• If you focus on strengthening and enhancing the relationship you have with your children, their need to scream at you and demand things from you will lessen, and eventually you will find yourselves in a place much more desirable than where you are right now.
• I guarantee you will find yourself in a much healthier relationship with the people you love.

For more information on how to enhance the relationship with your children, see our website at www.parentingontrack.com.