I wake up. Realize it is light at 6:00 am. The first sign that winter is fading and spring is on the way. It is a new beginning and a great time to get ready for the lazy, crazy, busy and fun-filled months of summer.

BUT—before we jump straight into another season of action, I want to suggest that this year, we begin by taking a bit of time for ourselves. You know, prepare for all that sun and fun we are about to take on. That’s why this month, April, the Parenting On Track™ Newsletters will focus on Wellness. Enjoy this short journey through Pampering Ourselves—Body, Mind and Spirit—as we enter this new season of spring.

Every season provides us with rain, maybe a little more during the spring—hence the saying “April Showers…”. I think the same can be said for every relationship we are in, including the relationship with our children. Sometimes we experience a mild April Shower and then there are the times we experience a really nasty storm. What I know after 20 years in the biz, along with raising five splendid kids, is this: It isn’t the storm that affects the relationship between parent and child as much as it is how we HANDLE the storm.

I like to refer to the stormy times of our relationships with our children as the “Slippery Slope.” The Slippery Slope is that place—that crossroad—when you are aware that at any moment things could go from bad to worse. You can FEEL it. And regardless of how you got there, what you do next will determine whether you move away from the edge or go down head-over-tea kettle into the Rabbit Hole. The Slippery Slope is your chance to Stop—Think—and Choose.

What do you do when you are at the top of the Slippery Slope? Chances are, like lots of parents, you have some sort of discipline strategies that you hope will get you out, and guess what? They almost never work. You can’t dig your way out of a hole, and a discipline strategy when the storm is rising seems to make things worse.

So, here is something else you could try—something that will get you down from the top of the Slippery Slope, while at the same time, preserve and enhance the relationship with your children. Thousands of parents have already tried it, and the results are nothing less than, well miraculous.
The Parenting On Track™ Program has several Slippery Slope strategies to choose from, depending on the situation, but I will focus on a couple of my favorites here. The first, and one that is a central part of all the others, is Firm and Kind.

Firm is respectful to you as the parent, and Kind is respectful to your children. Using a firm and kind tone of voice will show that you have set boundaries for yourself and that you love and respect your child. Remember: If your children hear you talk to them in a firm and kind voice, they will talk to you with kindness (even when they are teenagers!).

The second strategy I want to highlight here is Yes—as soon as …

In case you didn’t already know, your job as a parent is to say YES as often as you can to your children. Does this mean you say yes to anything they ask for and let them walk all over you? Of course not!

Here’s an example, to give you an idea of how this works: You and your child have agreed that he will clean his room before going to his friend’s house. Instead of nagging, reminding, lecturing, yelling or fighting, when he asks to go, simply say, “Yes, as soon as you follow through with your agreement.” The important thing to remember is that the room is not the issue; the agreement is a skill set that your children can practice over and over again.

This strategy will work for years and in countless situations:

“Can I watch TV?” … “Yes, as soon as your homework is done.”
“Can you play this game with me?” … “Yes, as soon as you take care of your daily contribution.”
“Can I have my friends over?” … “Yes, as soon as you clean up your room and help clean the den.”

The great thing about this strategy is that when used in conjunction with Firm and Kind, you no longer have to lecture and yell about homework and contributions and whatever else you remind your children about every day. Instead, you have replaced all that with a kind, fair interaction that your children will respect you for in the end.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature doesn’t care how kind we are and whether we have treated our children and ourselves with respect; she is guaranteed to send us a nasty storm every now and then. But, fortunately, our children do care about being in a respectful relationship, and when you work with them by using the Parenting On Track™ Slippery Slope strategies, you will find that those really nasty storms just don’t seem to come around anymore.

For more Slippery Slope strategies, refer to Chapter 11 of the Parenting On Track™ Home Program.