How to Stop Doing It All
Do you ever feel like putting a “Help Wanted” sign out in front of your house? You know, a sign that says, “Help Wanted for cleaning, dishes, laundry, pet care…” or whatever it is that you or your spouse seem to spend all of your time doing? If so, you aren’t alone.
So many parents I talk to tell me that they are tired of being “the maid” in their houses. And do you know what my answer is? Stop. Stop being the maid, and train your children to do the housework with you. Is this the quick and easy answer? No, it can take a lot of time and a significant amount of patience from both parents. Will it result in long-lasting change to the family dynamic and result in kids who help out and parents who are free to do other things? YES!
Here’s how it works.
For example: you would like your children to help clean up the kitchen after dinner. This job can start as one of the weekly contributions that they pick at the Family Meeting.
| Start with: Take everyone’s dishes to the counter | |
| After they have done the job successfully for awhile, a month or more for little ones – a week or two for older children, | |
Add to the skills:
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| Build the skills from there one at a time, week by week (or month by month). | |
Finally a child of about eight or nine is able to do the following:
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Imagine how taking away some of these daily chores—the ones that take up so much of your time and zap your energy—could change your life. It will enable you to be emotionally available for your kids, kids who are not getting into fights with each other because they are busy doing useful things. Sounds blissful, doesn’t it?
More information on inviting your children to participate can be found in the Parenting On Track™ Multi- Media Home Program.
Posted in Invest In The Best
Ohhhhh! I get it now! Like, this training stuff is supposed to take time! I have a renewed outlook on contributions…. I think I definitely had unreasonable expectations for my kids and now I feel like we can all succeed! Thanks Vic! Rock Star!!!
Hey Chris,
Yeah!!! Now you got it.
Why is that we parents set such high expectations for your kids? Imagine how much more fun childhood would be for our kids if we got this straight when they were babies and how much more enjoyable it would be for us parents.
Heaven. Have fun sista.
I just want to tell you that tonight at dinner we were talking with the kids about school. Our 12 year old daughter was sharing that in health class they were talking about a book, “Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall?” She was sharing with us that ALL of the girls in her group were sharing that they don’t want to be with their parents, never want to talk with them, never want to be seen with them, and never want to help out around the house. She told us she was the only one in the group that had daily contributions (and liked doing them) who liked to talk to her parents, and loved being around us….hmmmm it might have been difficult training her at 5 years old and following through, and inviting her to participate, but the benefit is sooo worth it. Both of our teenage children continue to extend the invitation to us to be a part of their lives AND continue to help enthusiastically around the house and willingly learn more. Our oldest exclaimed last weekend that he was leaving in 4 years and had some stuff he wanted to learn how to do before he had to do it on his own!!! Thanks Vicki for sharing this information and helping us to invest in our children when they are little and we think- what difference does it make- so we can have the privilege of living with these amazing young teens!!!! For anyone who is reading this and you have a 3 year old. It makes a big difference. Start now! Its sooo worth it.